August 15, 2013

Summer's pretty much over. It's pretty amazing how much time I've wasted this summer. I don't even think it's a choice anymore, it feels like I'm physically unable to focus for more than minutes at a time. I asked my teachers for my AP scores since I still couldn't access them. Can't say I'm too happy with my scores. It's times these when I wonder what the future is going to hold for me. Am I even going to get into a college? I mean, Pamela has pretty high expectations for me, and I'm just really tired of being a disappointment. But "why don't I just do something about it" right? Well I'm trying but like I said, it's not even about choice anymore. As it turns out my brother was right, I'm too stupid and lazy to live. And I can't even communicate with people; the future ain't lookin bright. My fault I guess, my priorities were messed up. I wish I could have loved my family as much as I'd loved my friends because they're here for as long as we live, but now that my friends are gone I'm left with nothing. Too late now, there's really nothing to save